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Learn about Boundaries

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When I talk about health, I include in my discussions the importance of emotional health and strong boundaries.
As we grow in life we daily get opportunities to improve our self-image and to recognize our feelings are important and helpful to establishing strong boundaries.  In our journey of life, it is our responsibility to tell others what our boundaries are as others would have no way of understanding what our personal boundaries are unless we tell them.
As children when we have nurturing and supportive parents, they help us by showing and telling us what healthy boundaries are - such as “no Johnny we do not hit others “, or “Sally ask Johnny if you can play with his toy“.  By listening to our parents and following their lead, we come to learn what boundaries are and that our boundaries deserve to be respected.  As we grow up, it then becomes our responsibility to tell others in our life how we need to be treated in order to feel our boundaries are respected.  As we do this regularly, our self-esteem grows more and more.  This is how we develop our communication skills as we ask others how they want to be treated as well.  Where it can become confusing is if a person has not yet developed a strong self-esteem.  This person will also not give others consistent messages on how they wish to be treated.  This can be a lot of work for others when they're just trying to find out how to interact with you in a way that works for you.  When a relationship seems to be too much work, you have to look at the reason for wanting this relationship and the benefit for being in the relationship.  I think today when people say they are not being treated well by others, a great way to turn that around is to do some reading about boundaries to discover what they are.
It is always a bit of a mind twist to think that we teach people how to treat us, especially when we are not being treated in the most loving and considerate of ways.  If you think when people interact with us they are asking us about what our limits are, then it starts to make more sense.  This is why it's so important to gradually tell a friend, lover, or a coworker how you want to be treated, what works for you and what does not. In doing this you encourage others to tell you of their boundaries as well.  In developing intimacy this way with others, you are less likely to violate their boundaries as well. Interacting in this way will cut down on apologies that would otherwise be needed in order to keep the relationship continuing.  If you are wanting a relationship, a friendship, or maybe a new job, it will be helpful for you to #1 feel good about yourself and #2 firmly know your physical, sexual and emotional boundaries.  When you know more about boundaries, hold firm to your boundaries, and respect and acknowledge other people's boundaries, life gets happier.
I remember when I first learned about boundaries, I went around telling people when they would infringe upon my boundaries.  “That's a boundary violation, please do not interact with me in this way.”  And in the beginning, it was a little rough going, however now I am without the need to say more.
There are many books on Boundaries.  I say learning more about the subject can stop you from feeling victimized in life and also tell others how you want to be treated.

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It has been brought to our attention that Margaret is being portrayed as a psychic on $1.99 sites. These sites are doing so without Margaret's permission. Margaret has not claimed she is a psychic. - MW